1. |
Dance Alone
05:12
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There is always something in the background
Something calling you
It's a reach; It's a cry
It's strong.
Expecting you to have the answers
There are no answers before the dance.
You have to build character.
It takes work.
It takes not knowing.
It takes the dance.
Take the dance.
It helps to open your mind to who you can dance with -- your dance partners.
Will you choose...
just 1 partner your whole life?
Will you choose many?
I don't have the answer.
I won't have it.
It's important to rest in between endings.
To let the silence sit.
And notice where it hurts
Not because you want to hurt
But because you need to know
Where the pain lies in you.
Do not keep it bottled up
like poison.
Do not swallow when you need to flow.
Dance alone.
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2. |
Ghost Co-host
02:58
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I'm a ghost
Just a ghost
Just a ghost
Co-host
I'm a ghost
Just a ghost
A ghost co-host
Take me home
You're never gonna be alone
Winter's warm
From my soul
Melt you like ice
I'm in disguise
You won't know
You won't know
When I'm home
Not alone
I'm a ghost
Just a ghost
Co-host
A ghost
Share this body
Share this body
I'm a ghost
Just a ghost
A ghost
co-host
I'm a ghost
A ghost
Co-host
Not alone
Not alone
Let's go home
Not alone
I am here with you always
Here
With you always.
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3. |
A Felt Sense
04:26
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I shut down for a bit.
But I'm on my way back
finding the bends that don't break me.
Forgiving myself for engaging.
Everyday torture.
Creature comforts.
Creature comforts.
Withering down into wholeness.
Letting my body glisten.
As it glows in the sun
And I'm a witness
to the tiny pain.
We bend ourselves again
To become.
And sometimes your teeth need to crack.
You just need a bite
that reminds you.
It was love.
It was love.
You never saw him again.
Your ice pop
was blue raspberry
And you loved it.
The way it changed
Your tongue
Your tongue
Your tongue
Your tongue
Eventually, there's no more change.
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4. |
Carrying On
04:30
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I’m sorry you’re tired
But
You’re going to need
To listen to your children
When they tell you their friends are dying
Because if they believe
You cannot handle it
Or that it isn’t important to you
That they let you know
They will bury it
Deep in a field
Inside themselves
Called carrying on.
And at 26 or so,
Your child will wake up
Unable to carry on any longer
Because the graveyard is full
And there are no vacancies
When carrying on
Precedes
The truth.
Carrying on is a field,
Yes.
But your children are human
And some of them
Have not yet learned
What it’s like to breathe
Air
Without flames.
I sincerely hope
Your children
Rise like a Phoenix
But you’re gonna need fertile soil
Water
And a strong picture of safety
They can keep in their pockets
For when the fires
Spread quickly through
Their classrooms.
They’re going to need their mom
And dad
To sit at a table with them
And listen to every detail
That touches them
Because
If you don’t listen
They may never let it out
In its purest form.
They may learn to hide behind strength
More than they speak the truth
Because your children need you
More than anything.
Do not push them away.
Even if they do that to you.
Let them grieve in your arms.
Hold them close.
Nourish them.
Show them
They do not need to carry on like this
Because love will carry them on
So much further
And kinder
In a world
Of unnecessary and impossible
Death.
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5. |
I'm Not Mad
02:52
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I'm not mad, I
Just need space, I
Just need space, I
Just need space, I
I'm not mad, I
Just need space, I
Just need space, I
Just need space, I
I'm not mad, I
Just need space, I
Just need space, I
Just need space, I
Just need space, I
Just need space, I
Just need space, I
Just need space, I
I'm not mad, I
Just need space, I
Just need space, I
Just need space
I just need home.
Need to belong.
I just need home.
Need to belong.
I'm not mad, I
Just need space, I
Just need space, I
A place to rest my eyes
A place to rest my mind
A place to rest my eyes
A place to rest my mind
A place to rest my eyes
A place to rest my mind
I'm not mad, I
Just need space, I
Just need light, I
Just need wants, I
I'm not mad, I
Just need a way out
I just need a way out
Of my mind, yeah.
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6. |
This Fear Makes Sense
04:06
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This cannot be buried
I know this now.
I know I won’t belong for this knowing
But the truth needs to rise
Because
I miss my Mother
I miss all the beings throughout my family
And existence
That had to die or hide
To keep us going
We have survival.
We have that.
But we need life.
We need flow.
And I cannot flow in denial
In this insistence
That my body is not mine
But a tool of healing
For those who created me.
I cannot belong
To an ecosystem
Intent on holding on to systems
Only for the sake of systems
And not for the sake of life
Of breath
I learned to hold my breath somewhere
Someone wanted me quiet
But life does not begin quiet
We move
We breathe
We talk
We touch
We belong
No matter what
But mother and father are supposed to protect us
I choked under the weight of what was done to them
And now my full time job
Is continuing to find my breath
Over and over again
When it seems like that is life-threatening
To engage with a 5-alarm system
That lashes at me
With full blunt force
To continue to remind myself
That this fear makes sense
But it doesn’t serve me
And I am working towards change
But I am sacrificing all I know about what is safe
I don’t know what’s safe here
Sometimes people tell me I have a deep knowing
Sometimes people tell me they’re afraid of me
I don’t belong in the hidden depths
But it’s the only place I know to rest.
It’s exhausting pretending the truth is not the truth.
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7. |
Too Tired
03:31
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I’m too tired
To get inspired
I’m too old
For getting bold
I’ll end up alone
Just like this poem
About being alone
I’m too frail
To get outta jail
There is no bail
There’s only hail
I’ll be alone.
I’m too tired
To do the math
To calculate
All the crap
I’ll end up alone
With no one at home
Always alone
I’m too tired
To get inspired
I’m too old
To get a date.
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8. |
Like a Wave
04:04
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I am eating my lunch in the hallway
Avoiding the intensity of being seen.
It hurts to be alone
When it's too much
But the way they always speak
Always whisper
It just gets to me?
And a break is supposed to be a rest, right?
I dream of being held in the light,
in admiration
And yet
The risk is just too real.
I disappear
Over and over again
You'll meet me
You'll love me
I'll get scared and fade away
Knowing the energy I have to perform
Will always run out from under me
I am ignoring you
Because
My childhood will never leave me.
My Mother will never stay.
We will be at war
Over and over
Until it takes us out
Like a wave.
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9. |
My Need
04:56
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Last night
You were on my mind
And I tried to settle
I tried to settle down.
But everyone
Everyone is someone
A frequency
to see
And I know
I'm empty without you.
And I'll always want you.
I know
I know it's wrong.
It's wrong.
I'm wrong.
We're wrong.
What I need;
I need you.
I need you.
But I'm alone
I might be strong enough
I might be strong enough
alone.
But when you're there
My knees
My knees
My knees
Buckling
You are my need.
My need.
My need.
My need.
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10. |
Little Bud
02:18
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Little bud
pushing up
Quiet afternoon
Awe Struck
As the tears rest
between my breaths
I notice you
as you start to bloom
and in my chest
awaiting breath
a moment in between
you and me.
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11. |
You Are Here
04:42
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You are in a field.
Breathing air.
Letting go of your sundress.
Letting go of the worries that you carry.
You wander. You're free.
"And what now?", you ask the Moon.
But it doesn't come.
It's a different star.
Something you once called the Sun.
You centered your movement
your life
around this being.
And it kept turning
kept shining
kept feeding you with light.
And you always took it in.
A part of you knows what to do.
A part of you knows where the world ends.
Many parts of you know the choices you have.
Many parts of you know there are more choices than that.
And you will not allow yourself to escape.
You will move
One foot in front of the other
Because your body formed this way.
And I allow.
I see.
I witness.
I do not smile while you grieve.
This is pain.
This is pure.
It's real.
You are here now.
You are here.
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12. |
Inside The MRI
03:17
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13. |
Hold My Breath
03:48
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I do not pretend
I can understand
differences
And what is meant
So pretty in a picture
Picture's a frame
and I don't belong there
I won't stay the same
And I trust myself to move
cuz moving is everything
moving is nothing
Endless awesome
on the horizon
It's 3 AM
I'm doing dishes
It makes no sense
It's loneliness
So take your problems
Throw me on them
Just throw me on them
That's a problem
But I can solve it
If I want it
I do not want it.
I just want rest.
Just a little rest.
Hold my breath.
For the lonely nest.
Just hold my breath.
Hold my breath.
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Julie Unpronounceable Boston, Massachusetts
Docu-Post-Rock-Eclectic Singer/Songwriter
Julie Unpronounceable has a heart that's maybe a little too big, so she pours it into containers called 'songs' with words, bleeps, bloops, and musical instruments.
Julie Unpronounceable recommends:
Let's just be real -- these guys don't know how to write a bad song. You get Female vox, Male vox, electronic bliss, and altogether good songs that don't even need the badass production they've got.
go to album
This album blows my mind with its simplicity, beautiful songwriting, and intimate production. The title track is a little heartbreaker.
go to albumIf you like Julie Unpronounceable, you may also like:
The Melbourne band hide painful truths within dissonant, jagged art pop arrangements; an ennui-laden take on the new wave revival.
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Darkness Visible - EP
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An experimental composer from Ireland, Stephen Roddy proves equally adept at crushing soundscapes as he does mysterious melodies.
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Earth and Its Contents
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Sarah Louise blends glitchy electronics with comfortingly familiar folk guitar on a surprise release imbued with a quiet sense of dignity.
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Fluid World Building 101 With Shaman Bambu
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Dustin Wong returns with another album of brain-melting electronic music that is equal parts dizzying and hallucinatory.
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